Save Myself
by StellSkins123
Summary: What would happen if the events of Christmas Day in Albert Square went a little differently? What would be Abi's fate? This was an idea I thought up while watching the last few days of Eastenders since I believe that Lorna deserved a better ending and that they've treated her rubbish. So this was my idea! Please favorite, follow, and review! Review's make for a happy writer!


There was never truly a time in her life that Abigail Branning had given a substantial amount of thought to how she would die or when for that matter. In fact, it was something she had avoided completely, the sheer thought of it causing chills to run down her spine and a shiver to leave her lips. Death scared her, it always had. Even if she claimed that "things die", the thought of her own death, of what would happen after death and of what kind of impact she would leave on this world was a truly terrifying thought. There was barely a hare's breadth between life and death, they were so banged up against each other. Someone could be here and gone within instants, her brother Bradley was an example - another reason it frightened her so much. Death wasn't in her plan anytime soon, she had her whole life ahead of her, a baby on the way, an amazing group of friends - _FOR ONCE_ everything was seemingly looking up especially after the devastation she had experienced when Steven had died. She wasn't scared about being a single mother, she wasn't worried about her future. She was actually excited. She had something to **LIVE** for.

Imagine her shock when she was hurtling toward the ground at record speed from The Queen Vic's roof, the same fate her brother had suffered only seven years previous. Time entirely slowed down, making the whole situation appear extremely more surreal. Her hand clutching her sisters after an attempt of saving her only went south, literally. The one thought that was running through her mind was worry - and with extremely good reason. There was worry coursing through her veins, causing her mind to fly into overload, memories flashing on a loop. So this was how life were to flash before people's eyes? Abi didn't like it. It was too soon. And her baby would die as a result of this horrific event - the baby would die without being told it was loved by Stephen, and by her especially. If it weren't for the context of how she was falling, of what actually was happening, it would have been quite the thrill - part of her was kicking herself now for not actually doing something that she could have had the same thrill before but she didn't expect this. Who would ever expect it? Not when everything was finally getting back on track. She didn't know there was a limit on time, she didn't know that her clock would soon chime to signal the end.

The blood was pumping in her ears so loudly that it almost cut off the background noise of the screams, that of her dad who had no way of saving his little girls from plummeting to their death, from the screams of her mother who had warned them to stay safe. The screams of Stacey Fowler who had once again been dragged into the mess of the Branning family. Of the screams of her sister who hadn't meant to pull her down with her. It took her a second to realize there were screams leaving her own plump pink lips, screams of fright plaguing her entire being and causing her throat to be so red raw that it felt like it was about to start bleeding. It almost felt like she was dreaming, but with the close proximity of her body to the ground she knew it wasn't a dream because if it were, she would have woken up by now. Her whole body had twisted in the air since they left the roof and none of this had ever occurred in those weird dreams she had endured before. From the position she was in, she could see Lauren's gaze and their eyes met for the last few seconds, as the last replay of her memories left her head. There wasn't a chance for an exchange of feelings from either of them, but just that one gaze said everything they needed too before their bodies hit the ground. In Lauren's eyes there was a gaze that deeply expressed her apology, and how much she truly loved her sister. The love was mirrored in her own green orbs, eyes clouding over as the emotion became too much before she closed them shut tightly as the impact struck.

There were a few mere moments before Abi felt her eyes open - only she wasn't on the floor, she was stood next to her mother who was rigid amount of shock running through her body, there were silent tears running down her cheeks. Confusion moved across the younger branning as she tried to fathom what had happened - her mind completely blanking for a moment as she attempted to piece together what had happened. As soon as the door of the Vic opened, Abi saw the face of her father, the same look he held after Bradley had died, and everything came hurtling back to her mind, in waves. She had fallen off the roof of The Queen Vic, but she hadn't fallen alone. _**LAUREN**_. Her eyes widened as reality set in, and the voice that struck her out of her momentary lapse of thought was that of Stacey who started screaming to phone an ambulance. Why? Why would they need an ambulance? Her hands moved quickly to assess her body, touching her face and such but it felt fine. Everything felt fine, cold but completely fine.

"Stacey, I'm fine." She tried to step in front of her as she frantically screeched her name, only to see her completely pass her, as if she wasn't there. Her green orbs became both stone cold and hard, anger vibrating through her. She turned to her mother this time, waving in front of her, but nothing. No one could see her. And suddenly as her eyes followed the brunette who was in the process of crouching over someone, she moved closer to have a better look. Wait… what? No this can't be happening. Nausea is the first thing she feels, an overwhelming churning in the pit of her stomach even though she can't fathom how it's possible because staring back at her was her own body on the floor. Her orbs widen, as her hands shake with the reality of the situation. _**She was dead**_. She must be dead. None of this made the slightest bit of sense.

"Wake up!" She screeched, mostly to herself, a shrill and desperate tone lurking within her words - her voice rang out but not one of the surrounding family members reacting and most of all, it had not the slightest effect on her still body that was strewn outside of their local. "Please wake up!" She begged, a shakiness taking over her voice now as the emotions became almost too much to bare.

Her gaze moved to her sister laying next to her, and a sob left her lips. "Lauren." She cried, rushing to kneel next to her, hands moving to touch her, but coming up short. She couldn't physically touch her and there was no explanation, her hands could touch her but not truly feel her, it was as if she wasn't there. Even if her hand was on top of her sister's, the brunette wouldn't be able to feel it because of Abi's current form. This only caused Abi to become more distraught, everything was happening manically around her and she was sat on the floor next to her sister and her own body, silently sobbing her heart out. Was she dead? Is that what this was? She hadn't even been able to say goodbye to anyone and now this? It was some sick fucking joke and Abi wanted it to stop right now.

A swipe of a touch across her head caused Abi to halt in the overwhelming display of her emotions to look up and see that Stacey was trying to somehow wake her. She could feel it. Maybe there was hope. Surely if she could feel them, then that was a good sign. Voices were all she could hear around her, footsteps of people rushing around. Mick was on the phone to the ambulance, causing her to pause and listen closely to the conversation so she could know what was going on properly - especially since trying to find a pulse on Lauren or her own body was completely out of the question.

The whole situation felt like something off the movie Ghost, maybe she needed a flurry of emotions like Patrick Swayze's character had to be able to touch something. Abi knew basing something off a movie wasn't her best bet - but she was truly clutching at straws.

As soon as Mick had confirmed that her sister was alive, relief flooded through the blonde, only to have it amplify minutes later when Sonia had checked her pulse and confirmed her fate. She was still alive. She was still fighting.

Everything went pretty fast after that, she kept trying to somehow catch her family's attention, even going as far as screaming bloody murder at the police when they carted off her dad for GBH - the result of that being that she felt a loss of energy and had to try and pace herself. At the present time, despite her best efforts to go with her father, there was a pull drawing her back to her body so she ended up in the ambulance waiting for them to confirm that her baby was okay. There was a massive part of her that wanted to go with Lauren, but at the forefront of her mind was checking on the baby, she needed to know if her little girl was going to be okay especially with the severity of the fall - the amount of thoughts running through her mind were enough to drive her bonkers than she already was. It wasn't exactly a picture of great mental health to be detached from your body after suffering such a catastrophic fall. If she remembered any of it if she woke up, it would be a great story to tell people.

The doctors acted pretty fast which was something that pleased the blonde profusely, because she was able to be aware of everything. When they checked the baby, she was stood next to her mother, wishing she could show her that she was there, even going as far as trying to hold her hand - though failing miserably. Silence had bestowed upon the room and the heart beat of her baby was the only thing she could hear - and all she felt was peace.

That was how she spent the first few days - at peace. She had left the room after hearing the baby was okay, and visited Lauren a few cubicles over, desperate to see if she was okay, and when she saw that she had woken up, her worry seemed to slightly diminish. Lauren was strong, she could get through it all - she had Louie to think of, and she knew that her sister would fight to stay with her nephew all the best she could.

Her predictions were true as her sister was awake a few days later after the riskiest of operational procedures and greeting her son who had come in with Ian. Herself however? That was an entirely different story, the doctors were worried about her, and Abi didn't know how to react to their words and apparently neither did her dad, who had yelled at the consultant who believed that there was nothing they could do. There was a clot on her brain, right on her frontal temporal lobe and they didn't things were going to improve - this caused the familiar nausea she had felt after the accident to wash over her again, the room entirely spinning. The doctors words rang in her ear on a continuous loop, only reminding her hopeless the situation was and how helpless she was.

"Unless Abi makes a steady improvement then we believe that she could possibly be brain dead. We will run further tests in order to hopefully prove this theory wrong of course but we also have the baby to think of in this situation, the process of delivering it will need to be brought forward as soon as possible."

The words were hard for her to digest, she felt personally attacked, as if he was insinuating that she wasn't trying hard enough to come back. There had been moments where she had tried desperately to reconnect with her body but she was struggling, it was like she couldn't stick, she couldn't make a connection - it was like she was detached for good.

When the male consultant left, her dad had broken down - spilling his guts with promises and sobbing which only made everything more distressing as Abi's heart ached to try and show her father that she was still there - that she wasn't going anywhere, but all she managed to do was cause her heart rate to rise when she got mad or her eyes to move from underneath her lids.

Her spirit was broken completely as she sat next to her own bed, trying her utmost best to give a sign that they shouldn't give up on her just yet - because Abi wasn't ready to die, she had a baby to think of. Every part of her was praying that there would be a way of her communicating, that something would happen to show them that she was working her hardest on her side of things too. Worry was present throughout her as she thought of the fate of her little girl, if she didn't fight then she would be an orphan like Steven had been, and she couldn't think of anything worse - the girl would grow up thinking she wasn't loved and that was the most tragic thing in this whole terrible ordeal.

Abi had been left alone to her thoughts for a while as they quietly consumed her, leaving her to the turbulent fright that took over her, the endless questions she couldn't answer that she didn't even notice her father leave to talk to her mother down in Lauren's room - they had been switching to see both of them, though Lauren had more visitors than Abi had, especially with Ian coming back and forth with Louie. She had stood up, pacing back and forth, trying to calm herself down. The door opening caused her to pause and stand still, her head snapping up in curiosity at who had come through the door as her eyes fell upon the figure stood there. What she didn't expect though was for a pair of orbs to meet her own. Shock trembled through her hands as it set in that someone could actually see her.

Standing in front of her with an equally shocked face, and eyes that kept switching from her to her body laying opposite her in a bed was none other than Jay Mitchell.

"What the _**fuck**_ is going on?"


End file.
